27

(My dad, flipping his tiny kid (me) around when he was 27. Nice shorts.)

Here I am, on the technical eve of my 27th birthday.

When my mom turned 27, she had a baby about to be turning 3 a month later. I can't even think about babysitting my new nephew (Welcome to the world, Brooks!) until he's at least 3 years old.

So what have I learned in 27 years, which include 4 years of college and almost 3 years of working in the "real world" until being completely blasted into a whole different realm of "real world" work via layoff?

For one, I've never been less sure of what I want in life. Catch a hold of me at my old job? I wouldn't even hesitate to let you know I'd want to be in non profit for the rest of my life. But was that because I was in a cushy position, and that was the easy answer?

For now, ideas are abundant but actual opportunities may prove almost impossible to execute. Grad school, yes, but where? I want out of KC but will I have the means to? And for what? Continuing English? Education? Social work? The pipe dream of the vegetarian/natural culinary school in New York which sounds so amazing but is so expensive it was hard to breathe while reading the information?

Everyone around me seems to have their collective shit together. "Real" jobs, "real" relationships or fuck...marriages/engagements, nice cars they can afford, nice apartments and houses they don't have to worry about paying for every month. Why was I the one to fall behind? What choice did I make that led to this? I don't believe in karma but one has to wonder...

But there are days that just make me so happy, for no reason. Spending beautiful Autumn afternoons outside walking around the Plaza while others are staring out at it from a window by their cubicle. Sleeping in during thunderstorms. Volunteering. (Feel like getting involved with an awesome endeavor? I'm now the Volunteer Manager for HALO: http://www.haloworldwide.org/)

This I know for sure: I'm going to take this 27th year and start DOING.

It's what I owe to this existence.